Why you don’t get what you want; it’s not what you expect: Jennice Vilhauer

If you plan to watch this one (and we highly recommend that you do), grab a pen and paper. You’ll need it! Reading the highlights below won’t do this talk justice. Press play.

  • When you don’t act on what you want, you take yourself out of the game.
  • Expectations can keep us stuck in the past and prevent us from gaining what we want
  • We overuse the past to predict the future – the same part of brain is activated when we think about the past and the future
  • If you are aware of your expectations, you can plan for how to create a different outcome
  • Anticipate rewards – you feel positive emotions when you think you are going to get what you want
  • What do you do when what you want doesn’t match what you expect ? you have 2 options, give up or change your expectations.
  • How should you approach your thought processes in these scenarios? Ask yourself:
  1. How is what I’m expecting making me feel?
    • Expecting what you don’t want? You will feel anxiety and fear
  2. Ask yourself,  “what would I like to have happen instead?” Sometimes what you want is not what you expect.
  3. What do I need to do to make what I want happen?
  •  When you see a plan, you see a possibility and that starts to change your expectations. What’s the message here? Make a plan!
  • When you are motivated by what you want, change is possible.
  • “Whether you think you can or think you cant, you are right.”
  • Expectations of your future limit you the most.
  • Create the life you truly want to live.

All of that will make infinitely more sense when you listen to Jennice deliver this message in her TEDx talk.




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